Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom:

"Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."

Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."

The teacher was standing outside her room as the children entered one morning. Along came little Billy, deliberately winking his left eye.

"Why, Billy," smiled the teacher. "Are you winking at me?"

"No ma'am, just got my turn signal on," little Billy replied, making a neat left turn into his room.

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school:

"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."

As an instructional assistant for a public school, part of my job involves teaching small groups of children. One day I was in charge of some second-graders, who were concentrating on their artwork.

As I reached across to help a student, he remarked that something smelled good. I was pleased that he noticed my perfume, until he held a wide felt-tip pen up to his nose and said, "Yep. New markers."

The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural-history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?"

One child was ready with the answer: "They don't have a union."