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Thread: short jokes..................

  1. #1
    sweety4u
    Guest

    short jokes..................

    What do you call a sheep with no legs?
    A cloud.
    (Jon)

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    Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
    When did you first notice this problem?
    What problem? (Scott)

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    What is defference between man and Superman?
    Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser. (Tejas Chachcha)

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    How do you know if your a red neck?
    You go to the family reunon to find a date! (Faithe Ainsworth)

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    Yo mamma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out her basement window. (Kyle Burglie)

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    Yo mamma so fat, every time she turns around its her b-day!!! (Pisshead Bonehead)

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    Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
    Teacher: no, of course not.
    Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework. (Scott)

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    What is green and smells?
    Hulk's fart.
    (Azbar Kahleed)

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    Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party?
    Becase he was a party pooper. (Briana)

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    You so short you have to look up to look down. (Crystal)

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    Yo mamma is so fat:
    She eats Wheat Thicks.
    We're in her right now.
    She was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for a new world.
    She lay on the beach and people ran around saying, "FREE WILLY." (M.P. Monaghan)

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    Yo mamma so ugly when she was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea lets go bury it". (M. P. Monaghan)

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    Yo mamma so ugly, she got arrested for mooning when she looked out a window. (M. P. Monaghan)

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    How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
    Shine a torch into her ear...

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    How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
    His lips are moving.

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    Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
    Professional courtesy.

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    What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
    Not enough sand.

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    Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
    Take your foot off his head.

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    Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
    No? Good!

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    What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
    The bucket.

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    What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
    A vampire only sucks blood at night.

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    Yo mama's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

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    Yo mama's so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

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    Yo mama's so fat she needs a hula hoop to keep up her socks.

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    Yo mama's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

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    Yo mama's so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.

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    Yo mama's so fat, when she fell in love she broke it.

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    How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
    Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

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    How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
    None. The invisible hand does it.

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    How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.

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    Have you ever noticed... anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And anyone going faster is a maniac.
    George Carlin

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    You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
    Ellen DeGeneris

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    I think men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experience pain and bought jewelry.
    Rita Rudner

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    I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.
    Carol Leifer

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    I have a great diet. You are allowed to eat anything you want. But you must eat it with naked fat people.
    Ed Bluestone

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    I went into MacDonalds yesterday and said "I'd like some fries".
    The girl at the counter said "Would you like some fries with that".
    Jay Leno

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    Why don't oysters give to charity?
    Because they're shellfish.

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    What can you do in radiation-contaminated rivers?
    Nuclear fission.


     


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    Why did the jazz musician like the wooden board?
    Because it had a nice groove in it!

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    How can you tell if a redneck is married?
    There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.



  2. #2
    am_alive
    Guest
    Nice one

  3. #3
    coolestnapster
    Guest
    nice ones

  4. #4
    beng072488
    Guest
    nice
    but some ere verycommon jokes

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