1)First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're real lucky, mine's still alive."
2)Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer, a plasterer and a carpenter.
One afternoon he returned from work early and saw a plumber's truck in the driveway. "Lord," he pleaded, looking skyward, "please let my wife be having an affair."
3)A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder.
If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially
nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your
problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging.
And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week.
If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband
will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied
4)The teacher asks a boy,
"4 girls are walking on the road",
change it into an exclaimatory sentece!
The boy replies, "Wow"