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Thread: Male Versus Female Jokes..............1

  1. #1

    Male Versus Female Jokes..............1

    Short Male Versus Female Jokes

    Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

    Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
    A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.

    Q: Why are hangovers better than women?
    A: Hangovers will go away.

    Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    A: So they can stand closer to the sink.

    Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
    A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."

    Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
    A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!

    I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts:
    "I wanna know your name..."

    Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.

    Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    A: The Dog of least he'll shut up after you let him in!

    Q: What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
    A: 1.No mind.
    a: 2.No business.

    The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" and I said, "Dust!"

    Q: Why do women like intelligent men?
    A: Opposites attract.

    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a women's sex drive by 90 percent.... Wedding cake!!!

    Short Male Versus Female Jokes 2

    Q: Why are men like blenders?
    A: You need one but you're not quite sure why.

    Q: Why is food better than a man?
    A: You don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

    Q: What's a man's idea of helping to make the bed?
    A: He gets out..

    Q: Why are men and parking spots similar?
    A: The good ones are already taken and the ones left are handicapped.

    Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: ONE! men will screw anything.

    Q: What do toilet seats, anniversaries and a clitoris have in common?
    A: Men miss them all.

    Q: How do you keep a man interested after marriage?
    A: Wear perfume that smells like beer.

    Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    A: She starts the sentance with "A man once told me..."

    Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
    A: That's not the point, what's she doing out of the kitchen?

    Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured outwomen?
    A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

    Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
    A: We don't know it has never happened.

    Q: Why are there only snowmen and no snowomen?
    A: Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow all Winter.

    Q: Why don't men get Mad Cow disease?
    A: Because men are pigs.

    Q: Why are guys like lawn mowers?
    A: They emit foul odors, are hard to get started, and do not last for long.

    Q: Why are men like laxatives?
    A: They irritate the shit out of you.

    Q: Why did God create man?
    A: Because vibrators don't mow lawns.


    Q: What are two reasons men don't mind their own business?
    A: No mind-No business.

    Q: Why is it hard for a women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
    A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

    Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
    A: You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

    Q: Why are men given larger brains than dogs?
    A: So they don't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

    Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
    A: Because they're all pigs.

    Q: What is the main difference between men and boys?

  2. #2

  3. #3
    thnx knight

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by shalin_99
    thnx knight
    You're welcome mate. Cheers

  5. #5

  6. #6

  7. #7
    good one

  8. #8
    thanks all of ya

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