During the week, the village pitch is always covered in grazing sheep.
Last week, the groundsman was marking out the boundary when he heard one sheep say to another, 'Well, I've eaten all the grass at extra-cover. I think I'll try over at third man!'
The demon bowler sent his thunderbolts whizzing past batsman and wicket-keeper for boundary byes from every ball of his opening over. The captain said, 'I think I'll rest you for a while.'
'You can't do that,' said the bowler. 'I've just bowled a maiden over.
'Women like that are a luxury I can't afford at the moment,' acidly replied the captain.
Although it isn't generally known, there was once an industrial dispute during a test match at the Oval.
As a result of it, the batsmen became the first ever union to come out on a non-strike.
The spider walk to the crease.
'Oh no, not him again,' sighed the grasshopper. 'Is he good?' asked a beetle.
'It's not that,' said the grasshopper, 'it's just that he stays in so long.
The only way to get him out is l.l.l.l.l.b.w. !
Two old cricketers were talking in the club.
'What was your highest score?' 'A hundred and ten not out.'
'Mine was a hundred and twenty not out'.
'And what was the most number of wickets you took?'.
'Oh, no. This time you go first.'