Q. What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?

A. Swimming trunks.

Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?

A. An umbrella.

Q. What disappears when you stand up?

A. Your lap.

Q. What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?

A. My pop is bigger than yours.

Q. What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?

A. You are too little to smoke.

Q. What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?

A. A doctopus!

Q. Why did the teacher jump into the lake?

A. Because she wanted to test the waters!

Q. Why did the belt go to jail?

A. Because it held up a pair of pants!

Q. What is the center of gravity?

A. The letter V!

Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A. Stick with me and we will go places!

Q. What sort of star is dangerous?

A. A shooting star!

Q. Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?

A. He wanted the lesson to be very clear!

Q. What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

A. Flood lights!

Q. What do computers do when they get hungry?

A. They eat chips!

Q. Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?

A. Because they're all in High School!

Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?

A. "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!

Q. Which month do soldiers hate most?

A. The month of March!

Q. What did the painter say to the wall?

A. One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!

Q. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

A. In case they get a hole in one!

Q. What did the the tie say to the hat?

A. You go on a head, I'll just hang around!

Q. What would you call two banana skins?

A. A pair of slippers