1) At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
2) In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
3) In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
4) On a Plumber's Shop: "We repair what your husband fixed."
5) On the trucks of a Plumbing Company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call us."
6) Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
7) At a Tire Shop: "Invite us to your next blowout."
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
9) At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
10) On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
11) In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and put you out."
12) On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."
13) On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
14) At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
15) Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
16) At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be de-Lighted."
17) In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Please drive carefully. We'll wait."