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Thread: kool jokes..................3

  1. #1


    kool jokes..................3

    This worked fine with my level 200a on up.
    A man got a parrot which could already talk. It had belonged to a sailor and had a big vocabulary. However, the man soon discovered that the parrot mostly know bad words. At first he thought it was funny, but then it became tiresome, and finally, when the man had important guests, the bird's bad words embarrassed him very much.

    As soon as the guests left, the man angrily shouted at the parrot,"That language must stop!". But the bird answered him with curses. He shook the bird and shouted again, "Don't use those ugly words!" Again the bird cursed him.

    Now the man was really angry. He grabbed the parrot and threw him into the refrigerator. But it had no effect. From inside the refrigerator,the parrot was still swearing. He opened the door and took him out, and again the bird spoke in dirty words and curses. This time, the man opened the door of the freezer , threw the bird into it, and closed the door.

    This time there was silence. After two minutes, the man opened the door and removed the very cold parrot. Slowly the shivering parrot walked up the man's arm, sat on his shoulder and spoke into his ear, sounding very frightened:

    "I'll be good, I promise...Those chickens in there.. what did they say?"

    A duck walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender.
    The bartender says "What can I get you?"
    Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?
    Bartender (looking surprised and finding the question odd):
    No, I'm afraid we don't.
    And the duck waddles slowly out of the bar.

    The next day at the same time, the duck waddles into the bar, hops up on a bar stool.
    Bartender: Hi. What can I get for you?
    Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?
    Bartender (a little annoyed): Hey! Weren't you in here yesterday. Look buddy, we don't have any grapes. OK?

    The duck hops off the stool and waddles out the door.

    The next day, at the same time, the bartender is cleaning some glasses when he hears a familiar voice
    Duck: Umm.. Do you have any grapes?
    The bartender is really ticked off.
    Bartender: Look. What's your problem? You came in here yesterday asking for grapes, I TOLD you, WE DON'T HAVE ANY GRAPES!! Next time I see your little ducktail waddle in here I'm going to nail those little webbed feet of yours to the floor. GOT me pal?

    And the duck hops off the bar stool and waddles out.

    The NEXT day at the same time, the duck waddles into the bar, walks up to the bartender and the bartender says,
    "What the heck do YOU want?"
    Umm. do you have any nails?
    What!? OF course not.
    Oh. Well, do you have any grapes?

    A man's dog has a problem so he takes him to the vet's. The vet looks at the dog and says that he'll have to take him to the examining room. In the examining room, he takes a cat out of a cage and lets the cat walk all over the dog, but the dog doesn't do anything.
    The doctor say "Your dog is dead."

    The man goes out to the receptionist and asks for his bill.

    "That'll be $325" says the receptionist.

    "What! $325? How's that possible?"

    "It's $25 for the consultation, and $300 for the Cat scan."

    [email protected]

    urs luvin,

  2. #2
    nice ones....

  3. #3

  4. #4

  5. #5
    verry nice

  6. #6
    they r very nice

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