School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.