Once upon a time there was an archery contest.
The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position...
He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM...... ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!
The second archer with a cape lines up in position.
He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood's arrow into two!!!
He takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!
Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position... He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!
It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... SORRY!
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner, Banta.
After some wheeling and dealing they settled for Rs 35,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn`t dance a single step!"
"Well," said Banta, "Did you remember to light a candle under the pot?"
Several weeks after Banta had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager`s office.
"What is the meaning of this?" the manager asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years` experience. Now we discover this is the first job you`ve ever had."
"Well," Banta said, "in your ad you said you wanted somebody with imagination."
The coolest one !!
here were three friends Santa, Banta and Jugnu in Shimla. Once, while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their residences were. They could agree on everything but whose residence was the coldest, so they decided to determine who indeed had the coldest house.
They went to Jugnu`s residence, where he said "Watch this!"
Jugnu poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid.
"Not bad", said Santa and Banta.
So they went to Banta`s residence, and he said "Watch this!"
Banta took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor.
"Wow, that`s colder than mine!" said Jugnu.
But Santa exclaimed that his was colder still. So they ended up at Santa`s residence.
Santa said "Watch this!"
Santa went into the bedroom, threw back the thick furs, and retrieved one of several small balls of ice there. He took it, put it in a spoon, and held a match under it.
When it heated up enough, it went "FFFAAAARRRRTTT".
Deer hunt !
Santa and Banta go for hunting. Santa has never gone hunting while Banta has hunted all his life. When they get to the woods, Banta tells Santa to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Banta checks out a deer stand.
After Banta gets about a quarter of a mile away, he hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Santa and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!"
Santa says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn`t make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn`t make a peep. But when those two chipmunks (squirrels) crawled up my pants leg and said, `Should we take them with us or eat them here?` I couldn`t keep quiet any more!"
Height of savings!
On leaving his office and reaching the tram stop, Banta found that the tram bound for his home had just started moving. Banta in his anxiety, to get home fast, ran after the tram.
In the course of time, it was found that the race between the speeding tram and Banta ended with Banta reached home chasing the tram.
Gleefully upon entering the house, Banta exclaimed to his wife that he saved 2 Rupees chasing the home-bound tram!
Mrs Banta, however, was not amused. In fact, she was quite upset and said, "After all you are only dumb-headed. Instead of chasing the tram, if only you had chased a taxi, you could have saved 50 Rupees instead of a mere 2 Rupees."