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Thread: Jokes

  1. #1

    atif is offline
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    Queen Elizabeth, Clinton & Sharoon died & went straight to hell.

    Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.

    She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

    The devil says "Five million dollars"

    She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

    Clinton was soo jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"

    He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

    The devil says "Ten million dollars"

    With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

    Sharoon was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Israil too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of my Parliment".....

    He called Israil and he talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

    The devil says "Twenty dollars".

    Sharoon is stunned & says "Twenty dollars??? Only ??"

    The devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it's local".

    George Bush in a primary school...
    George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.

    One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?


    And what is your question, Bob?

    I have 3 questions.

    First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

    Second, why are you president when al gore got more votes?

    Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?

    Just then, the bell rings for recess.

    George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

    When they resume George says, Ok where were we?

    Oh, thats right. Question time. Who has a question?

    A different little boy raises his hand.

    George points him out and asked him what is your name?


    And what is your question Steve?

    I have 5 questions.

    First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?

    Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?

    Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?

    Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?

    Fifth, where is Bob?

    Newton commited suicide...!
    Once, Newton came to Pakistan and watched a few Lollywood movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

    In the movies of Sultan Rahi(a punjabi actor), Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes

    1) Sultan Rahi has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors cant be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Sultan Rahi is shot in the head. To everybodys surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!

    Long Live Sultan Rahi!

    2) In another movie, Sultan Rahi is confronted with 3 gangsters. Sultan Rahi has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He shoots the bullet & throws the knife at the middle gangster towards the bullet. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

    3) Sultan Rahi is chased by a gangster. Sultan Rahi has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots,Sultan Rahi opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.Bang! the gangster dies.

    This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasnt changed. Oops, not so fast!

    The climax finally arrives.

    Sultan Rahi gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Sultan Rahi cant jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Sultan Rahi has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Sultan Rahi suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

    Newton commits suicide

  2. #2
    Nice jokes atif

  3. #3
    good ones dude..

  4. #4
    nice ones dude

  5. #5

    i like the first one the most...

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