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Thread: Sense And Commonsense Does This Adds Up To Make Humour......

  1. #1






    coolestnapster
    Guest


    Sense And Commonsense Does This Adds Up To Make Humour......

    rani: U know mam, my mother fears a lot while crossing a road! teacher: How do U know that? rani: Becoz, she holds my hand while crossing!..

    Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4 the what is 4+4? Student: Mam, it is not fair that U answer the easy ones and leave the hard ones for us!...

    Teacher: Rahul, How can U prove that the Earth is Round? Student: I can't! Besides, I never said it is!!!!!!...









    Q. What do you call cheese that is not yours? A. Nacho Cheese Q. Why did the sheep say "moo"? A. It was learning a new language! Q. What streets do ghosts haunt? A. Dead ends!...

    Q. What has 4 eyes but no face? A. Mississippi! Q. What did the spider do on the computer? A. Made a website! Q. What letters are not in the alphabet? A. The ones in the mail, of course!...

    . Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash! Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?" Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A. Frostbite...

    What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A. It let out a little wine! Q. How do you make a tissue dance? A. Put a little boogey in it! Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom? A. At the BP station!...

    Where do ants go to eat? At a restaurant! What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes? Antteneye! What do you call an and with frogs legs? An antphibian!...

    Q: Who is the bees favorite singer? A: Sting! Q: Who is the bees favorite pop group? A: The bee gees! Q: What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk? A: An animal that stinks and stings!..





  2. #2
    coolestnapster
    Guest
    When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them.

    Why don't men believe in paternity tests? Because the sample is taken from their finger

    Saddam Hussein in a Foxhole .You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam Hussein, a lawyer, and only two bullets in your gun. What do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice....

    What''s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Wings

    Q: How old is your son - the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years..


    Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go

    Teacher: Ritu spell "Blind Bird" RITU: B,l,n,d B,r,d Teacher: Where are the two i's?? RITU: Teacher a blind bird doesn't have eyes!

    SANTA-I THINK I'D TRAVEL TO THE SUN. BANTA-RIDICULOUS-YOUR SPACRSHIP WOULD BURN UP LONG BEFORE YOU EVEN GET THERE SANTA-I KNOW THAT WELL.THEREFORE I WILL TRAVEL AT NIGHT

    Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless, but he wasn't. Teacher: Did he hurt you? Nigel: No, but he screamed when I bit his finger....

    Santa and Banta went to a Pub.They had got their own Sandwitches,the waiter came said them "You can't eat your own Sandwitches". So Santa and Banta exchaged their Sandwitches....



  3. #3
    coolestnapster
    Guest
    SANTA & BANTA PLAYING CHESS.TWO MORE SARDARJIS COMING AND SAYING "LETS PLAY DOUBLES

    Teacher: Teacher(asks student)-wats ur father names ? student(replys teacher) -his name is BUTTER RED Teacher: teacher(with a surprised face)-wat ? student(replys) -yes maam his name is MAKHAN LAL !!!!!.

    Santa- "My grandfather is so forgetful that he puts his walking stick on the bed and stands in the corner of his room." Banta- "That is nothing. my grandfather is so forgetful that he spits pan on his bed and jumps out of the window

    Banta lives on the last storey of a 101-storeyed building with no lift.He invites Santa for lunch one day.At the decided time Santa climbs 101 storeys by foot.When he comes in front of Banta's door,he sees a note stuck on the door saying,"I FOOLED U.


    Sant and Banta Got really fed of the parliament so they decided to blow it up. So, when they where going by the car Santa said "Banta! what happens if the bomb blows up in the car?" Banta:"Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the backseat."...

    : Why does Santa always smile when the lightening comes? A: Bcoz he thinks that someone is snapping his photo

    One day a Sardarji was talking to his friend Sardarji: I have to learn Telugu within 6 months or I will not be able to communicate with my child. Friend: Is it! Why? Sardarji: I have adopted a telugu child and he will start speaking after 6 months....

    In his very examination santa in between the paper used to go to the toilet and come back with wearing only a brief. When banta asked why he was doing this he said that,"It is wirtten in question paper ANSWER IN BRIEF."...

    Teacher: How can you prove it that birds have a sharp eyesight? Student: Teacher,because I have never seen a bird wearing spectacles very good



  4. #4
    coolestnapster
    Guest
    Teacher: Paul, what is the chemical formula of Water? Paul: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O Teacher: What is this? Paul: Well!! you said it is H2O....

    Teacher: Rita,please stand up and answer this question.Why did the calf cross the road? Rita: I don't know ma'm.But I know someone who can answer this question. Teacher: (astonished)Who? Rita: Very simple the calf...


    Two men were fighting over whether the moon is big or the sun.Just then Santa Banta came.They asked them to tell them whether the sun or the moon is big,so Santa replied "sorry I'm new in this town

    Santa went to give his english exam.Then he came back. Banta:How was your exam? Santa:It was good except that I did not know the past tense of think.I thought and I thought and I wrote thunk....


    Teacher: ONCE TEACHER ASKED A CHILD 'WHERE IS THE HIMALAYAS " STUDENT SAID"I DONT KNOW." Student: THEN TEACHER ORDERED HIM TO STAND ON THE CHAIR" THEN STUDENT TOLD THE TEACHER INNOCENTLY "I STILL CAN'T SEE IT."...

    Santa was was on his death bed. Santa: Where is my wife? Santa's Wife: I am here. Santa: Where are my sons? Santa's Sons: We are here. Dad! Santa: Where is Banta? Banta: I am also here. Santa: Then! who is at the shop....


    once one sardarji was fighting with another. suddenly he stops doing fighting. because he said"dishoom dishoom karna to pepsodent ka kam hai"...


    Rahul: Madam my paper is the neatest. Teacher: You haven't written anything. Rahul: That's why it is the neatest....



  5. #5
    coolestnapster
    Guest
    Teacher: Now , Sam , Tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ? Student: No sir , I don't have to my mom is a good cook...

    Once Banta ji said to Santa ji the water is coming above the danger mark. Santa ji said," Put the danger mark above the water

    Teacher: You weren't at school last Friday, Robert. I heard you were at the movie theatre. Robert: That's not true, sir. And I've got the tickets from the football game to prove it....

    Teacher: Who was Raja Ram Mohan Roy ? Student: They all four were great friends Teacher: "What is your name?". Student: "Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai." Teacher: "When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english." Student: "My name is Sunlight

    Santa singh was sitting on a tree and singing.Suddenly he turned upside down and again started singing.Banta saw this. Banta:Why did you turn upside down singing? Santa:Because now I am singing the'B' side of the cassette....

    Teacher: anu,can you name five things made up of milk? anu: butter,cheese,cream------ Teacher: yes,yes go on. anu: and two cows...

    Once a patient went to the Doctor and said,"my hair is falling .Can u give me anything to keep it in?" So,then the doctor said tha yes u can hve a polythin bag....

    What is a definition of a doctor? A person who kills the problem in your body with pills and then kills you with his bills...

    One day a man saw a beggar on the street. He went to him and said "If you stop begging I will pay you Rs 1000 per month". In reply the begger said "Come and beg with me and I will pay you Rs5000 per month...

    Patientoctor,I feel so sick I want to die! Doctor: Don't worry, Just leave that job to me....



  6. #6
    [email protected]
    Guest
    Gr8 post dude
    You crack me up



  7. #7
    casper_fms
    Guest
    Its Very big.....



  8. #8
    coolestnapster
    Guest
    thanks samuel for ur comments....

    ya casper_fms it is tooo big but i think it is worth the time...am i right...




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