1)mother took her little boy to church. While in church the
little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."
The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say
the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to
'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'"
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his
father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have
The father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper
in my ear."
2)There was once this truck driver who had been on the road and hadnt
his wife for over three months. At one of his truck stops, he went next
door to the brothel and knocked on the door. Once the Madam opened the
door, the trucker said, "I have 500 bucks and for that, I want the
woman you have and a baloney sandwich." The madam, with a shocking look
her face, said in return,"for that kind of money you could get the best
looking woman in the house and a steak dinner. Why not get that?" After
hearing this, the trucker thanked the madam for her concern but he
back, "no thank you. I'm just home sick."
3)A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... that's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a purse, the woman it belonged to didn't have any change for a reward."
4)One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch.
The first woman says, "Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend."
The other woman asks, "Why, don't you have a vase?"