LITTLE OLD WOMAN'S CRIME
Defence Attorney: What is your age?
Little old Woman:
I am 86 years old
Defence Attorney: Will you tell us,
in your own words,
what happened to you?
Little old Woman:
There I was, sitting there
in my swing on my front porch
on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes
creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.
Defence Attorney: Did you know him?
Little old Woman:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defence Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little old Woman:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little old Woman:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little old Woman:
It felt good.
Nobody had done that since
my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little old Woman:
No, I did not stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little old Woman:
Why, Your Honour,
his rubbing made me
feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years!
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman:
Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just
laid down and said to him...
"Take me ... young man...Take me!"
Defence Attorney: Did he take you?
Little old Woman:
Hell, no.
He just yelled, "April Fool ! ".
... And that's when ...
I shot the little bastard.