Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Teacher: You don't know Maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that, but I'm going Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you now.
Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8. On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 1 year older then me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Simon: No, teacher. It's the same dog!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Singapore, Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me, Sir.
Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?
Ah Kow: No comb, Sir.
Teacher: Use your dad's then.
Ah Kow: No hair, Sir.
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did you get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do you mean 'under water'?"
" They are all below 'C' (sea) level!"