The Truth About Men
-- Andra DeAngelis
A friend and I were watching a film when a character called another a nymphomaniac.
"What's that mean?" she asked.
"It's a female who's addicted to sex," I answered.
"What do they call males who are addicted to sex?"
-- Marilyn Klatt
My granddaughter asked why I called my husband Hon.
"It's a term of endearment," I explained.
My husband mumbled, "After more than 40 years, it's a term of endurement."
Frame of Reference
-- Georgeana Pilcher
When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers.
"Have you ever dealt with an attorney?" asked the plaintiff's lawyer.
"Yes. I had an attorney write my living trust," she responded.
"And how did that turn out?"
"I don't know," she said. "Ask me when I'm dead."
-- Joseph B. Mirsky, West Palm Beach, Fla.
Shortly after my son started college, the president of the university had an assembly for the new students. "Welcome to Johns Hopkins," he began. "And please note that it's Johns, not John." Then he told how one of his predecessors, Milton Eisenhower, had been invited to talk at the University of Pittsburgh. After he was introduced as the president of "John Hopkins," Eisenhower said, "Thank you. It's great to be in Pittburgh."