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Thread: One Line Humor

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    One Line Humor

    [1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

    [2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

    [3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

    [4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

    [5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

    [6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

    [7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

    [8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

    [9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.


    [10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

    [11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

    [12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

    [13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

    [14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

    [15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

    [16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

    [17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

    [18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

    [19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

    [20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

    [21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

    [22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
    Dr: Get married.
    Man: Will it help?
    Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

    [23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

    [24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
    Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

    [25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

    [26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

    [27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

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    (201) A rich man's joke is always funny. Proverb
    (202) Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Oscar Wilde
    (203) A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. Arthur Block
    (204) The trouble wid being punctual is that nobody's there 2 appreciate it. Franklin P. Jones
    (205) "Sure, everyone always said 'Socrates what is d meaning of life?' or 'Socrates how can I find happiness?', did anyone ever say 'Socrates hemlock is poison.'???????" Socrates right b4 his death
    (206) "I hav opinions of my own -strong opinions- but I don't always agree wid ‘em." - George Bush
    (207) Gravitation is not responsible 4 people falling in love.
    (20 Light travels faster den sound, which is why most people appear brilliant until u hear them.
    (209) common sense is a sense which is not common in common ppl..
    (210) Am not the one you are looking 4!!!
    (211) I m Not Afraid Of A Fighter Who Knows 10,000 Kicks But I m Afraid Of d 1 Who Has Practiced 1 Kick 10,000 Times. Bruce Lee
    (212) She Broke my Heart.. I Broke Her BF'S Jaw..
    (213) U Can Impress Everybody By ur Talent , Looks & Intelligence & If That's Not Enough Tell dem U r My Friend.
    (214) I Have Been WRONG Alwayz That's When I Think I Am WRONG .... ;->
    (215) I Was Thinking Of Becoming A Doctor, I Have Handwriting 4 It
    (216) Rule The HELL Rather Than Being Slave At Heaven
    (217) King Nepolean Was Busy Fighting In Poland. Some Russian Prisoners Were Brought Infront Of Him. Their Attitude Was Very Humiliating 2wards King They Said :"V Russian r Far Better Thn U. U Fight 4 Wealth & V Fight 4 Honour." Nepolean Said : "Every1 Fights 4 Wht He Doesn't Have"
    (21 Dear God, Give Me D Wisdom 2 Understand My Boss, Give Me The Love 2 Forgive Him, Give Me The Patience 2 Understand His Deeds, But Dearest God Don't Give The Power Because If You Give Me Power, I WILL BREAK HIS HEAD.
    (219) "If U Want 2 Shine Like Sun, First You Have 2 Burn Like It..."
    (220) The Best Environment Day Slogan...'Save Earth, This Is The Only Planet Wid Girls !
    (221) If Opportunity doesn’t knock your door, you go knocking at it.
    (222) The arms of a man" & "The tears of a woman" can do every task of the world. (Aristotle)
    (223) Mark Willson Said "2 Be The Subject oF Jealousy iS The Sign oF Failure iN Life, & 2 Be The Object oF Jealousy iS The Sign oF Success iN Life" ;->
    (224) I studied Everythng but never topped, But 2day D topperz of d best Universitiez r my Employeez.-BILL GATES (225) The greatest gift you can give 2 someone is the purity of your attention''
    (226) GiViNg Ur SoN a SkIlL iS bEtTeR tHaN gIvInG hIm 1 tHoUsAnD pEiCeS oF gOlD. ~ Chinese Saying ~
    (22 Look @ D Clock When U U Sitting idle. But Never Look @ D Clock When U R Working. ~Bill Gates~
    (229) Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.
    (230) D 50-50-90 rule: Anytime u hav a 50-50 chance of getting something right, der's a 90% probability u'll get it wrong.
    (231) In an argument, a woman always has d last word. Anything a man says after dat is d beginning of a new argument.
    (232) Gun Control: Use both hands.
    (233) My mind is like a steel trap - rusty & illegal in 37 states.
    (234) If I want your opinion, I'll ask you 2 fill out the necessary forms.
    (235) All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
    (236) I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
    (237) Two rights do not make a wrong, they make an airplane.
    (23 When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.
    (239) I said "no" 2 drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
    (240) Drink your coffee; there are people in India sleeping.
    (241) Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
    (242) If you try 2 fail, & succeed, which have you done?
    (243) Stock markets r where d people wid money meet d people wid experience. D people wid experience get d money & d people wid money get experience
    (244) Heard in a Company: I was hired 2 do what’s Best 4 D Company, so I’ve Decided 2 Fire Myself.!
    (245) A T-Shirt Quote “All people have the right 2 stupidity, but some abuse the privilage”
    (246) “Do You Believe in Love at First Sight Or should I Pass By once again.?”
    (247) Minds are like Parachutes.
    (24 I pretend 2 work here – They pretend 2 Pay me!!
    (249) Don’t be so open-minded your brains fall out.
    (250) Smile, it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.
    (251) Never try 2 drown your troubles… Especially if she can swim.

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