When It Comes to Marriage, Know Your Real Enemy
(instead of turning on each other, turn together to face your eternal foe)
THE ARGUING BACK and forth ceased, him starting at the floor, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Why is this happening? She asked herself, too scared to say a word. It seemed like a nightmare, but she knew it was too much of a reality. She and her husband had just had the worst fight in all of their six years of marriage. Images of good times kept flooding her mind in those bitter, silent moments.
"But, wait!" she thought. Something inside her gave her strength to speak: "Satan is probably really happy right now. He gets the happiest when a husband and wife fight like this."
She waited a few moments. He remained silent, so she went on. "Why are we fighting in each other? We should both be working together to fight Satan, because he's our eternal enemy, not each other."
For a miraculous moment, truth came to light, and they both instantly understood their goal-to strive together with all their might to fight their common enemy.
About this very fact, the Quran says:
"Indeed, Satan is a clear enemy to man" (12:5).
Our Lord and Sustainer, who knows us better than we know ourselves, has made it plain to us exactly who our foe is. Should we not then make Satan our adversary?
Knowing who our enemy is makes it easier to oppose him. But who said fighting Satan is easy? The Prophet (PBUH), said:
"Indeed, Satan runs (unnoticed) through the veins of the son of Adam as does his blood" (Bukhari).
Fighting so stealthy and determined an enemy may seem impossible, but if we take Allah as our ally, our struggle to defeat Satan's whispers is not only doable but divinely guaranteed. But it takes knowing-knowing Satan and knowing what God has provided for us to prevail in this lifelong fight.
Married couples must understand that Satan's ultimate goal and highest priority is to dissolve marriages and break up families. This best serves his aim of leading individuals and all social institutions into harm's way. If you doubt it, just look around you no matter where you are.
Satan's plain is simple and evil. The idea is to go after one of the strongest and most safeguarding of human bonds and make it useless. For marriage is the "binding contact" which God describes in the Quran, as meethaqan ghaleedha,
" a most solemn covenant" (4:21),
something so essentially firm that breaking it is extraordinarily bad.
To do this, Satan uses his top soldiers and rewards the successful with the best he can. The Prophet (PBUH), said:
"Iblees (Satan) has his throne above the water ( at sea) and sends forth his detachments. The closest of them to him (at day's end) are those who cause the greatest trial. One of them comes back to him and says: 'I did such and such. Satan replies: "You've done nothing.' Then another comes to him and says: 'I did not leave him along until I caused division between him and his wife…… So Satan draws him close and says: "Well done!"(Muslim).
My mother tells me this hadeeth should raise hope in all married couples because it confirms to them where the real issues are. It allows them to show more love, ease, and mercy to one another and to save all their fighting capacity for what is truly harmful and a common threat to their sacred love, beautiful home, and earnestly established family.
The good news is that Allah is with you. You will have to do the work, but if you strive to get through the hard times with patience and a strong will to defeat Satan together, as a couple, you will do so, by the permission of Allah.
As for Satan, it seems the odds are against him. Not only is it two against one, but Allah is your ally-and most assuredly the alliance of God-it is they who are the truly successful (58:22).