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Thread: Funny Jokes

  1. #1
    Jasmine Surve

    Funny Jokes

    Lady : Is this my train?
    Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
    Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
    Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

    Wife : Do you want dinner?
    Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
    Wife : Yes and no.

    A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
    The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
    The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

    Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
    Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
    Customer : I bet you, it won't.
    Post Master : Why not?
    Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

    An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
    'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
    'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
    'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

    Girl : Do you love me?
    Boy : Yes Dear.
    Girl : Would you die for me?
    Boy : No, mine is undying love.

    1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
    2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
    1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

    Man : How old is your father?
    Boy : As old as me.
    Man : How can that be?
    Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

    Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
    Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field Teacher : How?
    Student : Ladies first.

    Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
    Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

    Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
    Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
    Customer : No, I can't.
    Waiter : Then does it really matter?

    Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
    Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

    Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
    Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

    Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
    Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

    Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
    Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.


    Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
    Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

    Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
    Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

  2. #2

  3. #3

  4. #4
    ha ha ha ha ...

  5. #5
    WoW..... very nice Jokes ... thanks, you made me happy...

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