You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" "Yes,
I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all
said the same
"You can have mine!"

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than
to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she
is finished.

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still

A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some
parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied,
happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got
married, and by
then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict
attention to
every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go
through life
thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still

A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man ,
to love and to
forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods..
Because, Lord, if I
for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.