You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
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At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" "Yes,
I am. I married the wrong man."
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A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband
Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all
said the same
thing:
"You can have mine!"
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than
to let her keep him.
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A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she
is finished.
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A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still
paying."
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A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some
parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied,
"That
happens in every country, son."
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Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got
married, and by
then, it was too late."
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict
attention to
every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
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Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go
through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
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First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still
alive."
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A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man ,
to love and to
forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods..
Because, Lord, if I
pray
for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
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