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Thread: latest jokes collection

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    latest jokes collection

    once three sardars decided to go on a picnic.


     


    When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.

    So, the youngest sardar said he would go home and get the soda if the others promised not to eat the sandwiches until he got back.


    An hour, a couple of hours, then all day went by.

    Both sardars were now very hungry.

    Finally one of the sardars said: “Oh, come on, he is not going to be back. Let’s eat the sandwiches.”

    Suddenly, the youngest sardar popped up from behind a rock and said: “If you do, I wont go.”



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    Four sardars wanted to open an auto repair shop.

    They bought the best car servicing equipment and soon inaugurated the repair shop.

    They all waited eagerly on the inaugural day; but no customer arrived. A couple of days passed, there were no cars that came in for repairs.

    A week, then a month went by, there were no cars.

    After all, how could cars come in, the sardars had put up their garage on the second floor.

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    Sardar joined a new job. On the very first day he worked till late evening on the computer.


    Boss was happy and asked him what he did till evening.

    Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

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    The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that Saradars are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”

    A Saradar works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, “What is 15 plus 15?”

    After 15 or 20 seconds he says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 Saradars start cheering, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

    The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give him another chance.”

    So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened - the Saradar starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

    The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance– What is 2 plus 2?”

    The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?”
    Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 Saradars jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…

    “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

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    Banta went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.

    “How did this happen?” the doctor asked.

    “Well I was trying to commit suicide,” Banta replied.

    The doctor asked, “Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?”

    “No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.“

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    Boss: Where were you born ?

    Sardarji: Oye Punjab.

    Boss: Which part?

    Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.

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    Two Sardars looking at an Egyptian mummy.

    Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case!

    Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai :BC-1760!!

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    Sardarji got the fourth child.
    He fills data in the birth certificate.

    “Mother: Sikh.
    Father: Sikh.
    Kid: Chinese.”

    “How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?”

    ” Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.”

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    A furniture dealer decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to abroad to see what he could find.

    After arriving some other country he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home.

    To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bar and have a beer. As he sat enjoying his beer, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat.


    Before long, a very beautiful young woman came to his table, asked him something which he did not understand and motioned toward the Chair. He invited her to sit down.

    He tried to speak to her in Hindi, but she did not knew Hindi so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a beer glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of beer for her.

    After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bar and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

    They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was Packing up.

    Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

    To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business.

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    Judge: You are charged with throwing your mother-in-law out of your fourth-story window.

    Banta: I did it without thinking, your Honor.


    Judge: Thats no excuse! Don’t you see how dangerous it might have been for anyone passing by at the time?

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