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Thread: How to Make a Happy Home?

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    How to Make a Happy Home?

    How to Make a Happy Home?
    The family, nowadays, is under stress which is a threat to the happiness of the home. The stress is traceable to three factors namely: rural-urban migration, sexual revolution, and economic downturn. Industrialisation caused by the rural-urban drift has created a whole new environment. Second, sexual revolution has brought changes in values and role concepts; while the economic downturn has resulted in the high cost of living.

    In a situation like this, establishing a happy home requires tremendous efforts based on certain principles. Four of these principles are discussed in this article namely: (i) the Role of the husband (ii) the demands on the wife (iii) Marriage maintenance and (iv) Children training.

    The Role of the Husband

    Establishing a happy home requires you (husband) to wisely and lovingly fulfill your God-given role as head of the home. The Bible states that the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23) The headship referred to relates to functional authority, which must be exercised responsibly and selflessly. This would make it easy for your wife to recognize and submit to your leadership and authority spontaneously.

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    You will also need to love your wife sacrificially, with the motive to elevate and contribute to her overall well-being physically, materially, emotionally, and spiritually. When you exercise responsible leadership and unselfish love, you are on your way to making a happy home.

    The Role of the Wife

    The traditional concept of housewife, dutifully attending to domestic chores while the husband is away to work, is fast disappearing. This is due to the pressures on the home from modern society which have drastically altered women’s role in the home.

    Nevertheless, women who seriously desire to fill their God-assigned place in life will not succumb to these pressures. Their desire would be to abide by the biblical roles for women which open the door to a happy home. The biblical roles are based on the principle of helpmate and submission.

    The principle of submission is for the wife to recognize the leadership of her husband and submit to his authority. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:1. Please note that the submission principle does not make a wife inferior to her husband – even when extra patience is required on the part of the wife in the case of unbelieving husband.

    The second biblical principle in the husband/wife relationship is that of woman as helper. God’s intention from the beginning of creation was that Eve should be an helpmate for Adam (Genesis 2:1. The wife, having unique superior qualities of her own is to complement her husband, making-up for lacks and deficiencies. For example some men have little self-control when it comes to money: they buy anything they want regardless of the family budget. This is where the wife can be her husband’s helper in terms of managing the family’s money matters. The pressures that came upon a family as a result of financial stress will thus be alleviated. The husband is relieved and his wife rightfully feels her importance and usefulness.

    Marriage Maintenance

    Marriage maintenance requires the husband and his wife to ensure the following four ‘Cs in their home: commitment, communication, companionship, and control.


    Beginning from the wedding day, you and your spouse must recognize the unbreakable contract of the marriage bond and commit yourselves to it. By your words and actions, remind and reassure each other of your continuing love and devotion.


    Marriage maintenance requires communication at three levels namely: information, feeling and conflict. .

    Communication at the level of information involves talks about day-to-day events, like the events that happened at work during the day: what was desirable and what was not. Communication at the level of feeling makes the two of you to confidently and sincerely open up to yourselves in the expression of your emotions: fears, joys, weaknesses, and needs. The third communication at the conflict level involves handling disagreements in a calm, controlled, and open manner.

    Marriage maintenance requires a reasonable, open-minded discussion of differences, a willingness to be the least, and a desire to make loving concessions.


    Spend time with your spouse. It is essential for good marriage maintenance.This is one thing that brought the two of you together in the first instance; and when you do, you are satisfying a basic human need. So, consciously evaluate your schedule and reserve time for your spouse.


    Self-discipline is vital in making a happy home, especially when it comes to the sexual instinct and the handling of money. Within the bonds of matrimony sex is a deep, rich, and meaningful expression of love; but outside of it, it is sinful and degrading. Therefore, recognize the will of God on sexual behaviour and be careful to exercise self-control in this area of life. The bible warns, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”. (Hebrews 13:4)

    Self-discipline is also important in the handling of money. Many homes have lost happiness because of trouble over finances. In today’s easy-credit society, some families over-stretch themselves, and live under tension because of failure to meet their bills. You can make your home happy by exercising self-discipline in the way you spend money. Be open and honest in analyzing your needs, wants and the proposed spending without putting undue pressure on your spouse. Above all, sincerely pray for the Lord’s direction.

    The Children

    Another critical factor in making a happy home is child training. Bringing up your children through their infancy, childhood, and teenage years can be enjoyable, rewarding, and God-honouring. The following are essential to achieve this:


    It is important that you spend time with your children if you desire to make a happy home. They need your individual, and undivided attention from infancy through their teenage years – and sometimes in adulthood. The hours spent with them are an investment in their spiritual welfare and future happiness. So, do not be too busy as not to have time for them.


    As children mature in years, you need to express a reasonable confidence in them. Provide the necessary guidance as they expand their interests and widen their circle of friends, allowing them to spread their wings at a comfortable but controlled pace.

    A Biblical Education with personal example. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, Moses emphasized the importance of parental instruction in spiritual matters. Teach your children the Word of God right from infancy. Talk to them about God, and let them know that you believe His Word, the Bible, and that you trust its promises. In practice, let it be evident to them that your actions match your words, and that your decisions and morality are based upon the biblical truth.


    Making a happy home requires you to discipline your children in love.

    Whenever discipline becomes necessary, the reason for it must be understood by all concerned. It should be evident to the child that the punishment is being administered for a good and justifiable reason. The discipline must be consistent, otherwise it might send confusing signals.


    It is important to raise a child with a healthy sense of self-worth. Your children must know that each of them is important to you – and to God. Therefore, they must learn to value self-respect, apart from respecting others. I have a code of conduct in my family which is: ‘Respect your seniors, respect your colleagues, respect your juniors, and respect yourself’. Interestingly, this has helped to enhance respect and good behavior among my children. Any child who is tempted to misbehave is quickly reminded by his/her colleague of this code of conduct.

    So, the assurance of a reasonable respect and a healthy sense of self-worth will enable the children to develop their skills and realize their potential.

    The determination to adhere to all the above prayerfully will ensure the desired happiness in your home.

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