"All praise is due to Allah the Lord of all the worlds which existed
before and which will exist after, visible and invisible. And Allah's
blessings upon our beloved Master (saw), the Beloved of Allah, Mercy
upon the Universe, and upon his household and progeny and companions and
friends who are loved by him, and upon the ones who love him."
Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose
parents emphasised for him to get married. they had seen so many
marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought
it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have
someone else in mind.
However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would
always say "she's not the one!"
The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing,
however one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was
religious, and practicing.
On that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk, and ask
each other questions. (As one would expect).
The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask
The young girl asked the young man so many questions, she asked about
his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his
hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his
The young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and
politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time,
over an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do you have any
The young man said, it's ok. I only have 3 questions...
The young girl thought, wow, only 3 questions okay, shoot.
The young man's first question was, Who do you love the most in the
world, someone who's love nothing would ever overcome?
She said, this is an easy question; my mother, he smiled second
question, he asked, you said that you read a lot of qur'an, could you
tell me which surahs you know the meaning of?
Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said, I do not know the
meaning of any yet, but I am hoping to soon insha'allah I've just been a
bit busy.the third question the young man asked, was I have been
approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are a lot more
prettier than you, why should I marry you?
Hearing this the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents
with fury, and said I do not want to marry this man he is insulting my
beauty, and intelligence. And the young man and his parents, were once
again, left without an agreement of marriage.
This time, the young mans parents were really angry, and said what did
you do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and
they were religious like you wanted. What did you ask the girl?? Tell
The young man said, firstly I asked her, who do you love the most? she
said, her mother,
The parents said so, what is wrong with that??
The young man said, "no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his
messenger (saw) more than anyone else in the world"
If a woman loves Allah and the Prophet (pbuh) more than anyone, she will
love me and respect me, and stay faithful to me, because of that love,
and fear for Allah (swt). and we can share this love, because this love
is greater than lust for beauty.
The young man said, then I asked, you read a lot of qur'an, can you tell
me the meaning of any surah?
And she said no, because I haven't had time yet. so I thought of that
hadith "ALL humans, are dead except for those who have knowledge" She
has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would
I marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and
what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the
woman IS the madrasa (school) and the best of teachers. And a woman who
has no time for Allah, will not have time for her husband.
The third question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, more prettier
than her, had approached me for marriage, why should I choose you?
That is why she stormed off, getting angry. The young man's parents said
that is a horrible thing to say, whywould you do such a thing, we are
going back there to apologise. The young man said I said this on
purpose, to test whether she could control her anger.
The Prophet (saw) said "do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get
angry" when asked how to become pious; because anger is from Satan.
If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met,do
you think she will be able to control it with her husband??
So, the moral of this story is, a marriage is based on:
*knowledge, not looks,
*practice, not preaching,
*Forgiveness, not anger,
*spiritual love, not lust.
One should look for a person who
1) Has love for Allah (swt) and the messenger (saw)
2) Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.
3) can control their anger
4) and willing to compromise.
And it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the same
Insha'allah, may Allah make every marriage a success, and let us create
Love for Allah and his messenger(saw) so that Allah can bless us, and
create love in our lives.
There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage. - The
Prophet of Islam (SAW)