1. ## Question and answer jokes

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?

2. 1.
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"

"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"

2.
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"
"But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?"
"That's exactly what I said!"

3.
A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about
this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+.

The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."

3. # Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ?
Pupil: Hot water !

# Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ?
Pupil: All of them !

# Why was the head teacher worried ?
Because there were so many rulers in the school !

# Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line ?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there !

# Teacher: If I bought a hundred current buns for a dollar, what would each bun be ?
Pupil: Stale !

# Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !

# Teacher: What is "can't" short for ?
Pupil: Can not miss.

# Teacher: and what is "don't" short for
Pupil: Doughnut !

# Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the Dog Star is ?
Pupil: Lassie !

# Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia ?
Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines !

Pupil: I'm just turning over things in my mind, sir !

# Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it ?
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me ?

[size=2o]Wake up![/size]

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."

SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."

MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want
to go to school."

SON : "One, all the chilldren hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."

MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."

SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"

MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

4. doubt

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it.

Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki
behind the bars.

First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born..."

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)

Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?"

Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him,

WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?

Masterji fainted.........................

5. hahahahhahaha........
"What's the fucking difference?"
"That's exactly what I said!"
ahhahahhahahah

6. ngineering joke!

The 4-year holiday called engineering

20 things common to all engg colleges:

1). The lecturers dont teach.The students dont study.The only guy who benefits is the one who owns the 'dhaba' next to the college.

2).Rules are made to be broken.

3).Promises are made to be broken.

5).Guys always think the chics in the college next lane are more beautiful.

5).The geeks are the most pampered lot during the internal exams.

6).The lab assistants are the most respected people(during the lab exams i.e)

7).The watchmen are the people most bribed.

.The HOD is the person most respected(heights of sycophancy here).

9).The principal is the person most abused and insulted(behind the back i.e)

10).Dropping subjects is 'cool'.(arre yaar..drop the idea of dropping subjects plzz).

11).There is always a lecturer in the college who cant speak proper 'english'.

12).Night-out is the second most important tool to ace the exams.

13).The most important tool..the bhramastra..is the 'chit' in which the words can be understood only by the person who wrote them(in most of the cases i.e)

14).The freshers are the most sought after..be it in the canteen,the 'free' periods or for completing the records,assignments.

15).The second-years are the ones with the 'I am the don-of-the-college' feeling.

16).The third years are the ones with the 'so-many-backlogs' feeling and the poor souls get down to studying after bossing around in the college for so long.but the fun still continues.(I gave 22 exams last year!!).

17).The fourth years have no connection with the college whatsoever...with no interest in ragging,pulling each other`s legs,the bday parties,the bday bums et al which they enjoyed so much till now.All they want is a good placement and a '1st-class' tag attached to their memo.

19).The first three years are spent in cursing the college,the people there,the system et al.

20).But towards the end of the fourth year,people tend to feel nostalgic abt the pure unadulterated fun they have had for 4 years.Now the very system they disliked,the very canteen they cursed,the time that they spent there,the bday bums they suffered..all these seem like heaven to them.

7. hahahaha........nice

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