Did you hear about the call girl that had to get her appendix out?
The doctor sewed up the wrong hole and now she's making money on the side.
What kind of physician works on a cruise liner?
A dry doc.
How is a hospital gown like insurance?
You're never covered as much as you think you are.
Patient: Doctor, you've got to help me. I think I'm a kleptomaniac.
Doctor: Don't worry. I think there's something you can take for that.