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Thread: Lawer joke

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    pradeeppotter is offline
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    Lawer joke

    Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
    Take your foot off his head.

    Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

    What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
    The bucket.

    What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
    A vampire only sucks blood at night.

    A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item: "Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn't you. --- $50.00."

    A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
    Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."
    A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.

    How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
    Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

    “You’re a cheat!” shouted the client to his lawyer. “You’re a scoundrel! You’ve kept me hanging for months and got rich on my case alone!”
    “That’s gratitude,” said the offended lawyer. “And right after I named my new yacht after you.”

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    Nice one

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