What do you call a beautiful woman in Poland?
A tourist.


Why don't women have umbrellas?
Because it doesn't rain in between the kitchen and the bedroom.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”