Did you hear about the politician who promised that, if he was elected, he'd make certain that everybody would get an above average income?

Three statisticians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first statistician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second statistician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third statistician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "On the average we got it!"

Patient: " Will i survive this risky operation?"
Surgeon: "Yes I'm absolutely sure that you will survive the operation."
Patient: How can you be so sure?"
Surgeon: "9 out of 10 patients die in this operation, and just yesterday my ninth patient died!"