Two random variables were gossiping and thought they were discrete by whispering but I heard their chatter continuously.

Why did the statistician take Viagra?
Since his sample was large, he did not want to be rejected with a small p-value and be declared practically nonsignificant!!

I asked a statistician for her phone number... and she gave me an estimate.

"Why are you moving? You have arrived to this lovely neighborhood just a few weeks ago."
"Yes, but I read in the local paper a bit of statistics that said, 'most auto accidents happen within eight miles of your home'."