I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section?"
She answered, "If I tell you, it will defeat the purpose."

There are three rules for writing a novel.
Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Copying an idea from an author is plagiarism.
Copying many ideas from many authors is research.

Writer: Did you like my novel?
Publisher: I really liked the last two words.
Writer: (very excitedly) And which are those?
Publisher: 'The End'