4 THOUGHTS OF "MEN"
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years
of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners
are also wondering where he has gone to.
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If
you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill
you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The
man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross
the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take
one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as
he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner,
barely missing him. The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian
angel," answered the voice. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the
hell were you when I got married?"
This is the Best!!!
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her
father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They
reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what
was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense
in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say
something. So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest
day of my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave
him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card
The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter ..........
all except the poor Groom!!