1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in
paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where
one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man
loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information
from the notes of the lecturer to
the notes of the students without passing
through “the minds of either”.
6. Conference : The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in
such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which
masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody
talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are
going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but
do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of
14. Office : A place where you can relax after
your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever
get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that
you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself
during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to
hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking
bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from
Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that ‘O’ is
the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he
can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the
rest… except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are
late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand
before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by
pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for
reading such mails……