Pathan Jokes

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Pathan went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to PATHANs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell
the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Pathans," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time,
haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before
he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Pathans," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Pathan?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.







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Why did 18 Pathans go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

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How do you measure a Pathan's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

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What do you do when a Pathan throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What do you do when a Pathan throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

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How do you make a Pathan laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

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What is the Pathan doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

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Why do Pathans work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

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Why can't Pathans make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

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How did the Pathan try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

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What do you call 10 Pathans standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

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What do you see when you look into a Pathan's eyes?
The back of his head.

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What do you call a Pathan who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Khan ('T' silent!).

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What do you call a Pathan who has only one drink?
Just-one Khan.

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Why does Pathan always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

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Why does Pathan have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

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How can you tell when Pathan sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

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Why can't Pathan dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone

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How do you get Pathan on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

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"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Pathan looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

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What do smart Pathan and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

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Why does it take longer to build a Pathan snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

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The doctor told Pathan that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days,
he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Pathan called the doctor to report
he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem ?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."

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Pathan Yar and Sattar are in a railway station.
Yar asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Airport?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Sattar.

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A Pathan goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching
he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon Pathan, kya baat hai? Dar
kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Pathan replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar
hai, usko kya pata"

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Pathan is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along
some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon
leke baithe ho?"
Pathan replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"

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Sattar G with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing
a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked
up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
" Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel (Yar) called back."

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Once a Pathan was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting
opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy
was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Pathan deserved more service. So,
when the Pathan fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
When the station arrived, the Pathan was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home,
he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife "What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my
20 rupees and woken up someone else"

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Having lost his donkey a Pathan, got down to his knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
The Pathan replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey
at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

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Pathan got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Pathan(doubtfully). Father: Pathan. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Pathans?"
"Aah, Pathan read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is
a Chinese."

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Pathan is in Quetta . He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone
asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Pathan says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Pathan
figured he was taken for a ride.
On the next day the Pathan is again walking along the same street and the same man asks
him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Pathan gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll
go get a ladder."

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Yar and Sattar landed up in Bombay . They managed to get into a double-decker bus.
Yar somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Sattar got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush was over, Yar went upstairs to see friend Sattar.
He met Sattar in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands,
scared to death.
He says, "Arre Sattar G ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ?
I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Sattarreplies. "Yeah,
but you've got a *driver.*"

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