Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Who cares! What was she doing out of the kitchen???
Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?
A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first?
A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Q: What do you call a woman who has lost her mind?
A: A widow.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
Most accidents happen at home. And the men have to eat them!
General Equations & Statistics
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.