Golfer: "This is the worst golf course I ever played."
Caddie: "This isn't the golf course, sir! We left that over an hour ago"
Golfer: "Well, I've never played this badly before"
Caddie: "I didn't realize that you had played before, sir"
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It is annoying."
Caddie: "This isn't a watch, sir. It is a compass."