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Thread: jokes........

  1. #1
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    jokes........

    Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
    Paddy: Seven!

    Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
    Paddy: Seven!

    Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
    Paddy: Six.

    Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
    Paddy: Seven!

    Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
    Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely."

    "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."

    The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.

    Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"

    Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"

    "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.

    At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"

    The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

    One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

    "But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

    And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
    Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.

    The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

    Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

    Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

    Is it........

    A-Robin

    B-Sparrow

    C-Cuckoo

    D-Thrush

    Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."

    "I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...

    No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.

    Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

    Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."

    (ringing)

    Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."

    Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.

    The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.

    There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."

    Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

    A-Robin

    B-Sparrow

    C-Cuckoo

    D-Thrush"

    Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."

    Barbara: "You think?"

    Maggie: "I'm sure."

    Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

    Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

    Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

    Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

    Barbara: "It is."

    Regis: "Are you confident?"

    Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."

    Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

    Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

    (clapping)

    That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?

    Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."


     


    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Baby, I've Got A Question For You
    I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and
    coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. I am
    sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would. I am very
    desperate and I need your help. You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but
    I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very
    dry. I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so...

    Do you have a piece of gum?



  2. #2
    Senior Member Array sunnyajmal's Avatar
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    hahahhahaa....really nice and funny

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    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, it is too good yaar. And I just loved that cuckoo clock one!!!!!!! It was simply AWEEEEESOME

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    Thank u for visiting Sunny & srimayee94....
    ya cuckoo clock's awesome one....
    Sardarji's one.....

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    Senior Member Array sunnyajmal's Avatar
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    always welcome vels...

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    lolz..... hahahhaha... the image is so funny...

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    uff ye bholey sardar............

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array sunnyajmal's Avatar
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    tum bhi tu bholi ho na...

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