A grocery store employee is working in the produce department when a customer approaches and asks to buy half a head of lettuce.

"You can't buy just half a head, we sell them whole." says the employee.

The customer responds "Go get your manager, and I'll ask him."

So the employee goes to his manager and says "Some asshole out there wants to buy just one half of a lettuce head...", then suddenly realizes the customer is right behind him, so he turns and gestures "and this gentleman would like to buy the other half!"

After the customer leaves, the manager says "That was pretty quick thinking, where are you from?"

The kid says "I'm from Brazil."

"So why didn't you stay there? Isn't it a beautiful country?"

"Yea, but the place is full of either soccer players or sluts." Said he kid.

"My wife is from Brazil!" growls the manager.

"Really?" Asks the kid without losing a beat, "What team does she play for?"