A good 30 laughs - Dilbert's one liners: Old Classics!

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🔺 I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
🔺 A friend in need is a pest indeed.
🔺 Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
🔺 Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
🔺 When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
🔺 The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
🔺 Born free, taxed to death.
🔺 Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
🔺 Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
🔺 Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
🔺 If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
🔺 It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
🔺 I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork..
🔺 A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
🔺 The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
🔺 The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
🔺 In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
🔺 If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
🔺 Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
🔺 If you can't convince them, confuse them.
🔺 It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
🔺 I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
🔺 Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
🔺 The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
🔺 Someday is not a day of the week
🔺 Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
🔺 The road to success.... Is always under construction.
🔺 Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
🔺 In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it!