There were two twins, Tom and Harry. Tom was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that Harry’s wife died the same day Tom’s boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Tom and mistaking him for Harry said “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must be feeling terrible.”
Tom, thinking she was talking about his boat said
“Fact is I’m sort of glad to be rid of her.
She was a rotten old thing from the beginning.
Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish.
She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too.
Every time I used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.
I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time.
I warned them she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow.
The fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle”
The old woman fainted hearing all this.