A couple bought themselves a squirrel pet. One night they went out for dinner and locked the squirrel in the closet.
Later that night a thief broke into their house. The thief was in the process of stealing the couple's valuables when he heard the couple's car arriving home. The thief then immediately hid in the closet. The owners came into the house and went straight to bed.
In the middle of the night they were awoken by a scream from the closet. The husband opened the closet to see the thief squirming on the floor. The husband immediately bound the thief tightly with some rope and asked what made him yell so loud.
The thief replied in pain, "When your pet squirrel took my a$$ for a hollow in a tree, I held out. Then it took my balls for nuts and I gritted my teeth. And when it decided to carry the nuts into the hollow...that's when I cracked up."