Why is it so difficult for us to forgive others? Why do we find it so hard to let go?
Sometimes, even years after a certain incident took place; sometimes, even after they have apologized; sometimes, when they have hurt you unknowingly and have no idea that you are struggling to forgive them.
Why? Why?? Because we are usually under the misconception that we will be doing them a favor by forgiving them.
In fact, that is not the case. Many other emotions stem from the lack of forgiveness. We hold guilt, shame, frustration and close the shutters of our heart to the sunshine of life. When we forgive someone, we actually do ourselves a huge favor because through forgiveness, we release all the negative thoughts, emotions and energies that we are so desperately holding onto in our anger.
Replaying the moment again and again in our mind, torturing ourselves in so many ways.... It hurts us more than them, when we don't forgive.
We find it hard to forgive because we think we are in a more powerful position when we hold back forgiveness. Actually we are the weak ones, if that's the kind of power we rely on to give us strength.
We are also not able to forgive because we take everything so personally.
Probably the other person didn't deliberately do it with the conscious intention of hurting you.
Sometimes they are just trying to protect themselves and that's the best way they know. Haven't you heard of the saying 'the best defence is offence'? We need to give the benefit of doubt to others and not take things too personally. So even if they did that for selfish reasons, go ahead and forgive.
First, forgive yourself for holding onto the grudge.
Then, forgive the other person.
Finally, be proud of yourself.
HOW YOU TREAT ME IS YOUR KARMA.
HOW I REACT IS MINE.