Angry Santa to his son: Have you ever seen an owl?
Pappu: (Luking down) No...
Santa: Don't look down. Look at me.
Santa: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Santa: A white horse fell in the mud.
Two goldfish in a bowl talking: Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?
Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.
Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life?
Because, women don't have a wife.
Man standing on the scale, holding his stomach in. Wife: I don't think that is going to help.
Man: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?
Maths & Women are the two most complicated things in this world...
But maths at least has some logic!
Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
Santa found the answer to the most difficult question ever: What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
Why do bees hum?
Because they've forgotten the words.
Control to pilot: What is your height and position?
Pilot: I'm five feet eight inches and i'm sitting down.
Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?
A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad!
Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing?
Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!
Why are Egyptian Children always confused?
Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.
Two men were talking. First: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house n doing laundry.
Second: Amazing, I took divorce for the same reason!
Teacher: Who is Mahatma Gandhi?
Modern day Student: He is the one who helped Munna Bhai to impress his Girlfriend!
It's a fact: A girl may not help u to get lot of salary but... salary may help u to get lot of girls. So, love ur work not girls!
One of the biggest problems of the world is that the stupid ones are damn sure & the intelligent ones are full of doubts !
When gambling became legal in the city, everyone agreed that the city was now a bettor place.