1. An old man was walking along the road. A car stopped near him and a got out of it. He asked the old man, Sir, shall I give you a lift?
The old man replied,
No need I live on the ground floor
2. Two pupils were fighting outside the examination hall. The teacher came out and said:
T: Why r u fighting?
S: Teacher, he left his answer sheet blank
T: Why should that bother you?
S: I too left my answer sheet blank
S: The teacher will think that we have copied from each other.
3. A: B, which is this crop in the farm?
B: This is cotton from which clothes are made.
A: Then when will shirts and pants grow on it?
4. Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because there was a sign which tells…School ahead, go slow.
5. A: Why have you kept the newspaper in the fridge?
B: Because it is full of HOT NEWS.
6. Professor: What three words are the most used by college students?
Student: I don’t know.
Professor: Absolutely correct.
7. Conductor: Why are you getting an extra ticket?
Passenger: If I lose one ticket, the other would save me.
C: What would you do if you lose both?
P: I am not a fool. I have my bus pass.
8. Lady: The design of the sari is excellent. But the colour is not good.
Salesman: Donâ€™t worry mam. The colour will disappear after the first wash.
9. Teacher: â€śI killed a personâ€, convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense â€śyou will go to jailâ€.
10. Mother: Reena, tell me why does a bear have itâ€™s body covered with hair?
Daughter: Actually Mom, there is no barber in the forest.
11. Maid: What do you want, sir?
Visitor: I want to see your master.
Maid: What’s your business, please?
Visitor: There is a bill...
Maid: Ah! He left yesterday for his village...
Visitor: Which I have to pay him...
Maid: And he returned this morning.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals’’