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Thread: Loving your Long Distance Relationships

  1. #1

    Loving your Long Distance Relationships

    Rudi and I got to know each other through a mutual friend, the most difficult part of our relationship was that we lived six hours away from each other. Both of us have been through failed marriages. I was married for 15 years, have two sons that I have been raising on my own the past six years. Rudi has a 13 year old daughter who lives with her mother in Ottawa, he has been on his own for several years.

    In the early stages of our friendship we began to email each other, and eventually started to talk to each other on the phone. We would spent hours talking to each other, and discovered how much we have in common. We were drawn to seeing each other face to face. So we arranged for that to happen. We met only briefly the first time.

    After our first meeting we realized how much we were attracted to each other, not only physically, but on all levels. We began to see each other at least once a month - getting to know each other better, and slowly introducing him to my boys. We shared New Year's Eve together, how nice that was!! I met his family at his Grandmother's 90th Birthday. He came here for my niece's wedding and met my family. We took my boys on holiday together spending time at the lake. During this difficult time of living so far away from each other, I was surfing the net and found Loving Your Long Distance Relationship !! It was comforting for us to read stories about other couples going through the same the emotions we did.

    The anticipation of seeing each other next time, and the hard part of saying good bye and leaving each other at the train station. I would read the stories for Rudi, and would share them over the computer with him. We both got web cams so we could feel closer to each other. YES there is a happy ending !! Eventually, we reached the stage in our relationship where we knew we wanted to be together long term. Rudi and I made the decision that he would move here to be with us. He moved in with my boys and I recently.

    Thank you Stephen for having the wisdom to create a site for couples who are Loving their Long Distance Relationships. Many lonely nights (before Rudi moved here with us) I would find reassurance and inspiration in the stories I read

  2. #2

    Loving Your Long Distance Relationship

    Currently, it's the depression and should I give up stage, which is likely prompting this letter to you. I am hoping I feel better after writing it down and it helps me gain some perspective.

    It has been two and a half years now since this relationship started. There is only 60 miles between us, which to some will sound like not much when you have to fly somewhere to see the one you love.

    However, with that 60 miles also comes the facts that he has two children that he is very involved with and shares parenting with their mother and I have my three children in the same situation. We are neither one in a position to move closer together for probably the next 9 years.

    So, we see each other every other weekend and talk daily. I go through these times when I can tell myself that it's ok because we are so good together and we will just stick it out and someday be together. Then there are the other times when I'm consumed with wondering how to ever be able to share holidays, how to develop our own traditions, how will we ever establish a relationship with one another's children, etc... I'm sure you've heard the rest.

    I spend lots of time focused on the positives and I stay very busy with a career as an LCSW and three children. It's just very difficulty at times to figure out how to actually share a life from a distance rather than just be two people that have separate lives and hook up a couple of times per month.

    Well, anyway, thanks for reading and writing and encouraging people to stick it out

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