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Thread: New Chemical Element Discovered

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    New Chemical Element Discovered

    The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
    investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively
    named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic
    number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75
    vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass
    of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the
    continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

    Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be
    detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.
    According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one
    reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally
    occurred in less than a second.

    Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which
    time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which
    assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
    Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each

    Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs naturally
    in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as
    government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be
    found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.

    Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level of
    concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is
    allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratium
    can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not

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