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Thread: Husband & Wife jokes

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    darani is offline
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    Husband & Wife jokes

    Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
    In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to
    divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he
    is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied,
    "My lord, not a single child resembles him."












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    Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy

    From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I
    die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know
    that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."



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    Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring

    At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
    wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married
    the wrong man."



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    Husband & Wife - Why?

    " Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home
    that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's
    arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then
    coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."



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    Husband & Wife - Same Service

    A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first
    married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers
    and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's
    all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs
    around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting
    the same service!"



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    Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband

    One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her
    husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have
    I ever said anything bad about him?"



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    Husband & Wife - Love To Do

    A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door
    and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every
    time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to." Replied the
    husband. "But I don't know her well enough."



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    Husband & Wife - No Answer Back

    A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts
    shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer
    her." One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?" The
    man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and
    none of them dares to answer back.



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    Husband & Wife - Come Home Late

    A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home
    late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the
    neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in
    the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that
    cured him. "Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said,
    "You see, his name is Bill."



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    Husband & Wife - Problem Father

    "You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied,
    "I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's
    wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet



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