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Thread: Occupations

  1. #1
    Member Array
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    Occupations

    Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

    Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

    Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

    Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

    Statistician - Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

    Actuary - Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

    Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

    Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.

    Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."


     


    Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

    Schoolteacher - A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

    Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

    Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.



  2. #2
    Member Array jojo_patty's Avatar
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    Hahaha....

  3. #3
    unnikrisb4u
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    Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

    ??? hmmmm ok...

    thanx for the post dear

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