Many believe that men are genetically wired to have multiple sex partners; while others feel this is just an excuse that the weaker of the species resort to when they feel the urge for some action between the sheets.
Like it or not, but men do cheat - that’s not to say that women don’t, they certainly do but dat is notda topic 4 discussion !!
Coming back to the point, it is commonly believed that sex is the root cause of male infidelity; that boys will be boys, and it’s all about the basic desire to satisfy the male libido. Wrong! Believe it or not, having another woman in his life is not all about sex.
Gone are the days when men desired another woman for satisfying their male libidos! Nowadays it has become more of a status issue, especially among male friends’ where one tends to flaunt that they are going around with more than one woman at one time,” says Yash Batra, married for 14 years.
Adman Prahlad Kakkar says, “Having another woman in life has become a ‘trophy’ thing for men today. Some just dump their wives and look out for a new woman half their age because when a wife turns 50, she gets fat and no longer looks as beautiful. And those ‘uncle types’ men, who have become industrialists and now hang out with cooler people are worried about taking their wife out. So, they end up picking a hot 23-year-old chick as arm candy to make their friends feel jealous. But they fail to realise that these ‘trophy girlfriends’ are just eyeing their bank balance.”
Ask film-maker Raj Kaushal, married to Mandira Bedi and he fully agrees, “Its all about choosing between ‘Who I am’, and ‘What I want’ attitude. Having a fling or a one night stand is different from having a full fledged affair. Eighty per cent of men talk more than they do, just to show how sexually competent they are, not only with their wives but another woman too. For them, it’s more about showing off among friends that ‘look I am so cool and yours is a boring life’ but they are just fooling themselves.”
Experts believe that more than physical attraction, it’s a desire to flaunt male prowess that makes men pick ‘trophy girlfriends’.
Leading psychiatrist Dr. Sanjay Chugh states, “Maybe these men believe in the phrase 'the more the merrier' which is why the so called deprived ones’ feel jealous and inadequate and the protagonist is almost made to feel like the king!”
“Just like for some having an expensive car, dining at the finest of restaurants, wearing branded clothes, carrying branded accessories, going for luxurious holidays means attaining a high status among their social circle, for some men - for whom women unfortunately might be perceived as mere commodities - having an attractive woman by their side could be a symbol of status or power.”
Psychiatrist Dr. Samir Parikh elaborates, “If any section of men thinks that infidelity gives them a status in society, I believe that they don’t have substance in themselves and need to show multiple partners in life.”
Dr. Sanjeeta Kundu, consultant, clinical psychologist at Max Healthcare, adds: “Men with a not-so-well established self-consciousness can cash-in on such tactics. This not only indicates their poor self-esteem but also shows how they minimise the importance of a woman to mere objects that satisfy materialistic needs.”
These men may seem to have it all – money, power, status, yes and so-called ‘trophy girlfriends’. But alas, all that glitters is not gold...
TV actor Aamir Ali in a committed relationship says: “Undoubtedly, these men are mere attention seekers who aren’t confident about their personality and comfort level when they are with friends. Just to prove their superiority, they opt for such bizarre things of flaunting their relationships.”
Kakkar supports, “A man who pretends to prefer ‘status’ to ‘sex’ can be a total wannabe who is so desperate for acknowledgement among the peer group that he is flaunting a second or maybe third / fourth woman in his life with whom he can wine, dine and enjoy. Even if the girl, in real, disagrees to mingle up with the men in the desired way, he would still show off among friends as to how hot she is in bed.”
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