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Thread: Humorous Facts

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    shainee is offline
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    Humorous Facts

    1. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I
    can't remember the other two... -- Sir Norman Wisdom

    2. One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that
    even a bargain costs money. -- Edgar Watson Howe

    3. A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your
    success! -- Doug Larson

    4. A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie! -- Eric Bolton

    5. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized
    that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive
    me. -- Erno Philips

    6. I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. -- Robert Paul

    7. We spend the first twelve months of our children's liv! es teaching them to
    walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -- Phyllis Diller

    8. Laughter is the closest distance between two people. -- Victor Borge

    9. Start every day with a smile and get it over with. -- W.C. Fields

    10. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -- Will Rogers

    11. Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out,
    you haven't wasted a whole day. -- Mickey Rooney

    12. Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not
    have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the
    same choice we've always had: work or prison. -- Tim Allen

    13. If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry
    you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner

    14. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Woody Allen

    15. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
    didn't. -- Erica Jong

    16. Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard

    17. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson

    18. In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found
    out. -- Joey Adams

    19. I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds
    out, she'll kill me. -- Henry Youngman

    20. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already
    born ? -- Benny Hill

  2. #2
    Member Array jojo_patty's Avatar
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    Lolz good quotes

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    good one yar..

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